HAPPY NEW YEAR.s efdsakvEWE.

tessa gets good presents.

BwADLY AND THE PIQWATES

Once upon a time, Karen sat on me. She broke my tats and then ow. Ow ow. And then Tespatulas made that noise. And TreeMan came back on. And then ow. Giggle. Bwad.


The end.

hgjdlsigj

hg;figmmcigjdklhuiobnriogvnklfmsad;lktujignvkm;aklgjnrgifovhfjkdslfhaldskjg

MADE

Neha:
I wanna be made into China.

Olivia:
I wanna be made in to a plus size model.

BAM.


But we have to get gay coaches.
THE END.

story time:


so i recently illegally downloaded the rest of brain thrust mastery, and it was all fine and good
and today my itunes was being awesome and picking out really good songs in shuffle, and then i hear,

thats what counts.

i know this is like 3 months too late, but REALLY?!! COME ON KEITH. AND CHRIS! THIS ONE ISNT ALL KEITHS FAULT. SERIOUSLY GUYS?

that was my initial reaction. i'd never listened to it in its entirety before and damn. it is just bad.



thats what happens when you get girlfriends and lose drummers and feed your kids.

things i know about boy:

he walks on mentor ave (who even does that!)

hes funny?

he shops at giant eagle (who even does that!)

he checks the prices on apple juice before buying

he luuuuuuuuuuuvs livvy

hes a real live rebel

and since hes perfect, i imagine he looks something like this:

is this real?

It's seven nineteen.

sdfkjhaskjdfhskd.

So. Its now two thirty. three. Euh.
BOnjour!
Je m'appelle Olivia!
J'ai quinze ans.
Je suis plus cool.
Il fait froid dans Karen's basement.
Le Brrrr.
Quand il fait froid, on met un anorak.
J'ai un chat. Il s'appelle Alan. Il est tres stupide et amusant.
J'adore mon chat.

FIN.

ONce upon a time, it was 2:05. um, ummmmmmmmmmm

*awkward spinny dance finger twirl thrusting arm pumping

So, so so soooooooo


Something ate my nose. And i was like, Hey! Dont do that!

but then it fell off and the Ader came over and justl ike. laughed at me. And the he started dancing really well, and his pointy shoes were looking really shiny.

But, nobody even cared!

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

Well. Its been years. FOREVER. Really. We're sorry. But not really.

Its one in the morning. One thirty six, actually. We're in Karen's basement. Its wonderful. We are annoyingly happy and giggly. Tessa is delirious. Most of the time.
YOU MARK MY WORDS!
So. Nothing exciting has happened really since we last wrote twenty seven and half years ago. I fell in love with a boy in a sweater. Neha fell in love with Asians. And some other foreign. Cos they gots that in Boston.






Keith Murray did that to his hair. It's not good. I'm choosing denial. It NEVER HAPPENED. DOCTORED PHOTO. (except it actually did happen. in real life. yeah. )

Neha and Tessa are talking about being on drugs and not sleeping and stuff. I don't even know.

soooo

It's been about 29 years since we've updated this. So, my deepest apologies to all of you who have been on the edge of your seats, thirsting for knowledge of what's been going on in our lives. But, more importantly:

BUY ME THIS!!%^&#?!@!

We Are Scientists. More Specifically, Keith Murray.

August 9 2008.

Story Time!

Yeah, so, we were at the mall today, like usual. Sittin on a bench, enjoying the smell of capitalism and Taco Bell, when a guy walks up.

"Hey.. uh.. heyy.. I...I've been thinking about uh, coming over here and I really just wanted to ask..

Wanna fuck?"

I swear, we can't make this shit up.

The Fauxhawk

-an approximation of a mohawk, made without shaving or buzzing the hair on the sides of the head, allowing an imitation of the look of a true mohawk without having to commit to removing most of one's hair.

It's a hairstyle reserved strictly for people who don't have the balls to get a real mohawk.

What will happen if you get a fauxhawk, you ask? Well as scary as it seems, it could turn into this:

The Hoxton Fin

And, God forbid, you may even start doing this:


The Pony Hawk

Way to go Mentor!

Yes, that is a condom. A used condom. In a bed of mulch. Surrounded by pine cones and bushes. Who, I would like to know, is "doing it" along one of the busiest roads in Mentor? Not even a secluded, could be romantic, outdoor spot, such as the couch at Garfield Park. No, smack dab between sidewalk and someones front lawn. Really, Mentor, Ohio, get some class.
Or at least a room.

Meet Lauren:

"i'mm laurennn. sophhmoree att mentorr soo happyy thatt summerr is heree. youu cann sayy i'mm pretty athleticc(: i playy basketballl. you cann probally findd mee whatingg collegee footballl and basketball everyy saturdayy. i'mm addictedd. myy familyy andd friendss mean the worldd to mee. starbuckss iss favee. I lovee to partyyy"


Can I even say anything?

WE WERE ON VACATION

SORRY, GUYS!

We are deeply sorry for our absence, and we know all you 179 dedicated readers missed us. As a result of lack of computers/internet access/being stranded in the middle of the rain forest, we have been slacking on our blogging duties. So, sorry everyone, and we will make up for everything we missed with a torrent of fascinating posts to come.

Buy Me This! June 9

BUY ITTTTTTTT!

Our Week in Review: June 2-8

This week was our last week of school. It was hot and exam filled and generally miserable. Monday was just boring. Tuesday started exams with history, language, and English; same as Thursday. It was thrilling. Wednesday and Friday were math and science. Also thrilling. After school on Friday we walked to Speedway and got acid slushies. Then headed to the thrift store and ended up at WalMart.

^WalMart parking lot^

Then we got picked up, made yesterday's car dancing movie, and went to Drug Mart. There we bought tank tops and rode ponies.

^Quinn on a pony^

Then we went to St. Gabes and hung out with drunk people. It was so good. And smelly and damp. Basically anything you could ever not want to do all rolled into one fun filled night. Saturday rolled around, bringing a garage sale, Amish boys, and Libby. Items were sold, hair was cut, tats were punched. It was fantastic.


Then a dollar store trip was made and some really classy bling and guns were bought. We then traveled to Karen's house, ate/stole candy, and wrapped presents for Adrienne's birthday! Then we went there and were awesome and sweaty. Now, while at the dollar store a can of "goofy string" was purchased. This was the beginning of a plan to "goofy string" a certain someone at Adrienne's who forced herself to be invited. After the presents had been opened and everyone was gathered on the back deck in semi darkness, the plan was set into motion. With a countdown from Annmarie (and a delayed countdown from Neha) the "goofy string" was released in a burst of wet plastic stench. It was beautiful and quite hilarious, but no one could really laugh without appearing too mean. So we giggled and then made it better by spraying Natalie's eye. Then we went home and died.

Dance Party June 7

39 seconds of sheer beauty.

So, we know all of our readers are craving for a deeper insight into the lives of the dynamic duo, Nelivia. Well, guys, here you go. This is what we do.

After a strenuous one hour of walking the streets of Mentor, Ohio in cool 143 degree weather, and after hitting up the ever popular street corner Speedway for slushies and cocaine, we decided to get a ride from Mr. Grebenc (as seen in 0:17-0:22). Now Mr.Grebenc is a fine man, and he loves his music. So as soon as he turns it up, Olivia busted out Car Dancing. Who knew she had such talent?!

I mean, look at those moves. Really. It must be the stamina built up from eleven minutes dancing in her kitchen.

Story Time!!!1! June 6

Once upon a time there were two really really awesome girls. They were so awesome, they made Keith Murray look a little less awesome. I mean, like, WHOA, these chicks were awesome. So they basically made everyone jealous just by existing. They liked to walk/bike/rugby/jog/pole vault/water polo/gymnastisize all the time. And, boy, were they good at it. They were pros, FURREALZ. They did it pretty much everyday too. Now, one day when the awesome girls were out walking/biking/rugbying/jogging/pole vaulting/water poloing/gymnastising, they got sore feet. Which was totally weird because they were so good at everything, they didn't really hurt themselves. But then they had sore feet and had to take a break from all their fun. Then they ate cookies.

THE END.

P.A.N.T.S June 4

SEE THE TRENDS.
The Penn Atlantic Nursery Trade Show (PANTS) has made its mark as the green industry event that provides the best summer opportunity to network with suppliers. And as THE FIRST SHOW OF THE BUYING SEASON, PANTS offers you the first opportunity to find out what the hot new trends are so you can jump ahead of your competition. See what's new, learn the trends and talk to over 500 exhibiting companies about how to make the most out of your spring season!

FORGE RELATIONSHIPS
Where can you see hundreds of copmanues selling products and services pertinent to your business' success without spending tons on sales calls? PANTS in Atlantic City! Save time and money driving to these companies separately...send your staff to PANTS. The relationships that are built will make you and your customers happy. So why wouldn't you go?

BUILD YOUR BUSINESS
At the end of the day, you want to know that everything you do from attending trade shows to making good buying decisions, helps to build your business. That's why the folks at PANTS want to make sure you're getting the most bang for your buck. Talk to as many exhibitors as you can so you can make the best buying decisions for your busienss. Then sit in on one of the many FREE educational demonstrations on the show floor that will help you take your company to the next level.

Yes, their acronym is PANTS. Go look at their site, I guess. I mean, if you like plants or whatever.

Go?

DEEEEEK!

DEEEEEEK

INVALID.




DEEEEEEEK

VALID.

Scenie Meanie of the Week! June 3

Name: jakeJIGSAW
Location: England, close to London

Hello, there jakeJIGSAW. You're really not that bad, for a scenie. You've realized that you aren't actually friends with the internet, you just use it. I mean, and you work at Tesco, which is the best ever. You're not (bolded) emo or goth, which is good, cos then you wouldn't be eligible for Scenie Meanie of the Week. You give creds to your real friends, while also showing off your massive friend count. Well done, mate, well done. You also don't force people to talk to you, which is good. And then, just so you don't become TOO real, you have your fakes listed on your profile. And I bet they weren't even made by you like that other kid's were (probably). Well, done Jake, and congratulations.

Go add him? +++++

BUY ME THIS!! June 2

BuyYYyYy

BUY EM BUY EM BUY EM!

Our Week In Review: May 26-June 1

This week began with Memorial Day which got us out of school. It was lovely.
Tuesday was boring. One of us was dead because the other one made her come to school. Nothing eventful happened. Wednesday was smart kid award day. Meaning we had to dress up and sit for two hours while people--mostly Josh Clark--got awards and stuff. We were both Smartypants McGees and got trophies, pins, and letters. It was beautiful. The trophies, as shown below, feature the "lamp of learning" which looks like you could rub it and the genie of learning would come do your homework.

Wednesday and Thursday were usual boring school days. You know, with the usual boy arm brushing, book sharing, yelling at dumb people, hating math, etc. Nothing particularly interesting. Friday was our ninth grade class party. Basically a bunch of smelly teenagers in a big room with some inflatables all yelling and signing yearbooks. Mostly, we ate food and took pictures of Jacob Bartee. Thrilling, I know.

^Josh Clark at the party ^

On Saturday, there was some miserable baseball action and yardwork with papas. Absolutely fascinating, I agree. Sunday, there was some bread on bread action amidst "studying" for finals. Also, My Fair Lady was on TV which equaled no studying or even "studying". Then we died.

Amazing, you say! It is truly amazing what one can accomplish in but one week.

Progression of Hair: Patrick Wolf

Hello there. Who are you?

There appears to be actual real live people looking at this! This excites me/us so much!
So, please, if you are one of those people reading this, comment this post and let us know a little about you.

Example:
HI! My name is Franklin.

I am from Poop Township, Ohio, USA.

I like ponies.

P.A.N.T.S May 28

Welcome to P.A.N.T.S Wednesdays! This series is for anything pants related. ANYTHING.
This week just happens to actually be pants. Really classy pants, at that, brought to us by Cheap Monday, the ingenious Swedish label. As you can see, these pants are really nice. I mean, do you see that picture? Every boy needs to own a pair of Cheap Mondays. For real, kids. GO GET SOME NOW. They're only 65 dollahs! Quite the steal. Buy me a pair while you're at it.

Scenie Meanie of the Week! May 27

Name: ErynSaveTheQueen.

Location: Birmingham && Florence, Alabama

Mood: impressed

Oh, ErynSaveTheQueen. First and foremost, she wants to inform you all that her last name rhymes with SCENE. Okay? GOT IT? SCENE. S-C-E-N-E. Yeah, she's scene. She will also tell you so insightfully that life is not about intelligence. Well, Eryn. That says a lot about you.
Don't get me wrong, Eryn has many shining features. Theres the fact that she's opinionated. "If my generation is the future, WE ARE FUCKED." Well said. She's also quite modest, which is refreshing what with all of those conceited, pompous scene kids these days. "I know I'm hot."
Most importantly, she has a gay boy in a thong with her name written across his chest. DANG. She also appears to have pictures in marching band outfits. One question, if she's in marching band, how does she fit all that hair under those damn hats!?!

That is something to think about.

Buy Me This !!! May 26

GET IT!

BUYBUYBUY

"IRLEND NVR SAW A LASS LIKE THIS"

Freckles McNugget.

Captain Miri Barbossa.

XXmiri-the bizarreXX.

A girl of many names and faces. Someone many aspire to be, and all admire. A girl of true character and strength and hope. Someone most can only dream of meeting.

Hahahaha. Right. This is Miranda Somethingorother, commonly called Freckles as was once her Myspace name (see above). Freckles is a very hard person to get down in words. She is a self proclaimed third degree emo, even though she has less to complain about than even the most well off emo kid. She has no friends, so any of you kids that think you are friends with her, she actually hates you and wants to kill. Probably. Our dear Freckles is the worst spelling most ignorant white kid you will ever meet. She dated a boy from Kansas via the internet, but has recently broken it off. Something about another girl who lived only two states away.
Freckles is the worst camera whore ever. She has forty two (42) pages of pictures. PAGES. That over 800 pictures. ON MYSPACE. OF NOTHING CONSEQUENTIAL. 147 of these pictures are devoted to her friend, Mariah. But wait, you say, she has no friends, right? And so begins the long list of contradictions. She even has an album devoted to her 'wacky GUY FRIENDS' (her emphasis not mine). Meaning, she hangs out with GUYS. You know, GUYS with penises and bad humor? No, not girls, GUYS.

Story Time Friday! 23 May

Once upon a pony there was a happy little Ethiopian name Johannes Mufasa. He was once a poor little African baby in a hut. Then a REALLY cool and nice kid named Olivia saved him. She also saved his little brother Amadeus Rafiki. According to Karen, "Patt Mell's shirts are really long" (12). Johannes had the most amazingest Asian gee eff ever. Her name was Ima Efin Ashin. She was SESSSSSYYYY and didn't often wear pants.




The end.

Scenie Meanie of the Week!

Name: taylormassacre [official myspace]
Mood: loved
Too cool for a location or status.

So. taylormassacre. What a kid. First off, please note that on his profile, he has an/his address so you can send him presents or fan mail. You know, like anthrax or pipe bombs. Oh, and this is the OFFICIAL taylormassacre myspace, not some imposter posing as a fourteen year old boy that is addicted to the internet and loves Gloomy Bear (and that's a FACT:). Now, this boy is ferrealz a scenie. How do I know? Pokemon tee shirt...check; zebra headband....check; referring to oneself as a slut/whore...check. So, go add him and then send him mail!

The Great Lakes Mall. Well. A place of many styles and qualities of life. Hollister next to PCX next to Tuxedo Junction next to that store that sells samurai swords. We once even housed an organ store. I mean, where else in Mentor, Ohio would you buy an organ? The people that inhabit the Great Lakes or Mentor Mall, as its commonly known, are all very different yet share the same goal; see and/or be seen, or scene. Whatever. There are your typical wiggers. They' just gross. Then the "cool" kids. Who wear Hollister into Hot Topic and think they're badass. Then there are the Hot Topic "goths/emos" that giggle outside Hollister but never go in because that's just scandalous. As with any mall, there are scenie meanies. Every day of the week. Any time. There are babies that fall or wear leashes so they don't fall. They are gross, but can be amusing. You have your department store bargain hunting middle aged hip moms, your 70+ mall walkers, college dropouts that take their boyfriends into Victoria Secret...etc. You are guaranteed to see at least fifteen people you know, not including mall creepers number 1 and 2. Remember kids, its MENNER MALL.

GOGOGO!

For starters, who can complain about a video that starts off with mad thrusting and gyrating. REALLY. Coffin Joe of The Horrors, or Joseph Patrick Spurgeon to intimate friends, mailmen, and primary school teachers, has proven that the art of dance is not dead. While the mass population is content with their grinding/macarina-ing, not our Joe. He glides, he spins, he snaps, he claps, he even drops it like its hot. And all with a smile. What a man. All I can say is,

The way he moves is a mystery.

Brain Thrust Mastery

We Are Scientists. One of the greatest bands ever created. The inspiration of my soul. The muses of the modern world. Some good looking pieces of men. Though they will never be as good as they were with Michael Tapper, God bless his not dead soul, they are still We Are Scientists and aren't really capable of making bad music. This new album, Brain Thrust Mastery, is quite good. I, one half of Nelivia, even shelled out the extra five bucks to get the special version with second disc of live footage. Only five dollars for actual video of We Are Scientists? you say. Yes, its true.
The avarice has not taken too strong a hold on these fine young-ish gentlemen yet. Although, most of the album is good, not amazingly wonderful, but good, there is one song I have yet to understand fully. That's What Counts is an interesting track. It sounds almost like a bad seventies soft rock cover band at an unenthusiastic wedding in an empty unfurnished warehouse. Well, maybe that's a little harsh, but it isn't very good. Maybe I have to let it grow on me, but on first impression, I expected better from something that counts. But I suppose we all have to have mistakes sometimes. But aside from that little lapse of creative genius, I find the album enjoyable.

Scenie Meanie of the Week.

Name: ADrienne Addiction [TKE]

Location: radville, zimbabwe

Mood: argumentative

Status: in Hell

Well. Thank you Myspace for being so wonderful. Today you have brought us ADrienne Addiction [TKE], a real scenie meanie. I mean, no never, not scene, that would be poser-like. A word of advice: if you are going to say you live in "radville" at least give it two d's. You should also put some color in your bangs. You know, you could be mistaken for emo. Oh wait, your tats are too big. And hanging out. But not quite right. Its not enough to be scenewhore acceptable, but its too much to be just plain acceptable. Now, don't get me wrong, I love scene kids, just please, do it a little better. Otherwise people get the idea that all scene kids are gross and then they get a bad name. Although, I commend you ADrienne, because if somehow someday you read this, you won't care. Because that's how scene kids roll. And, you know what? Good for them. Keep it up scenies!

and, ZOMG!LIKETTLY ++++ HERRRR!

Guess the Nationality!

come on, do it!

do it for the kids!

Dadadadaaaaa!

Bonsoir, hallo, welcome to all! This is the ceremonial first post. Now to business.
Paard is Dutch for ponies. Take notes, you will be tested. In case you were wondering what exactly is going on here, I am too. This is one half of Nelivia, the half that goes to therapy. This blog is something that came about rather suddenly without too much thought. Well, except the thought that it's fun to criticize things and spread our, my, wit to the world. Have you ever seen an Asian baby? They are quite amusing. I think I may want one. You should get one as well. It will be amazingly fantastic. A volte porto i pantaloni. As the other half of Nelivia, the India half, I thusly conclude this soliloquy with a quote, "You can't eat a taxi."
No, Nick, no you can not.